Love or Something Like It
by helloelscorcho
Summary: It’s Sakura’s senior year of high school. She's not the most popular girl in school nor is she a total nerd. Unlike other stories, she is already together with Syaoran and this story explores her thoughts on that. From Sakura’s POV.
1. Too Cute Tomoyo

**Love or Something Like It**

Summary: Has nothing to do with Cardcaptor Sakura storyline/personalities. It's Sakura's senior year of high school. Unlike other stories, she is already together with Syaoran and this story explores her thoughts on that. From Sakura's POV.

Disclaimer: I do not own Cardcaptor Sakura or any of its related characters. If I did, I of course would not be sitting here writing this lame fanfic.

**Chapter One: Too Cute Tomoyo**

"Tomoyo- I mean , Sakura, could you hand me that water bottle."

Oh my god. Did he just call me Tomoyo? Syaoran, my one and only? Called me the name of another girl! Oh, I see where his loyalties lie! Sure, he's all sweet in private telling me that I'm "everything" to him and he can't even imagine life without me – but he can't remember my own freakin' name! Now that I think about it, there's a whole bunch of times where he goes and confuses me and Tomoyo. Oh, it makes me furious! Like, he'll say "Remember that time when we were out together and…oh wait, I was with Tomoyo…not you…" Is Tomoyo really such a big part of his life that he should confuse her with me!

Ay, but I shouldn't think such things! Tomoyo is one of the sweetest most caring girls I have ever met. It's not her fault she was born with such a beautiful complexion, luscious locks of hair, a trim body… why does my best friend have to be so darn cute! She makes me so jealous! Because compared to her, I'm so… bland. My brown hair which now reaches down to my waist is often just a little frizzy, never perfect. My body isn't in shape anymore ever since I took up so many AP classes and extracurricular activities and never had the time to go out and exercise anymore. My legs are covered with scars from being a klutz and running into things as well as from scars from bug bites (for some reason, I attract bugs). Okay, well, my face isn't too bad since I don't get pimples too often… but the point is, it's not fair! Tomoyo was born cute! She doesn't need makeup or anything! And since I don't even know how to put on makeup, I can never size up to her image!

But Syaoran says he likes me just the way I am…_he_ thinks I'm cute… but what if he starts thinking Tomoyo is cuter?

I silently fumed about my predicament as he drank the water from the water bottle I just handed to him. Such an oblivious boy. Oh oblivious one, why can't you express one notion of affection in public! What am I, your _secret_ girlfriend that you must hide from the world? There you go, just drinking your water, without a care in the world.

He turns and looks at me and studies my face. I try to make my face unreadable.

"What's wrong."

I blink. Alright, don't give anything away. Remember, straight face.

"Oh, nothing."

He looks at me suspiciously and goes back to drinking his water.

Of course something is wrong, baka! If there was nothing wrong, think I'd be sitting here contemplating whether you really like me as much as you say you do and not talking to you! God. I hate being a teenager. All these raging hormones inside of me… I don't know when my thinking is rational or not anymore! Maybe I'm just being totally paranoid and there's nothing going on between Tomoyo and him. Otherwise, he wouldn't still be with me right?

**A/N:** I apologize for those who enjoy reading dialogue between characters because this first installation doesn't contain very much at all! I will try to have more dialogue in the future. R&R if you want more! If not…then don't. Haha. My first ever fanfic!


	2. Disconcerting Dream

**Love or Something Like It**

Summary: Has nothing to do with Cardcaptor Sakura storyline/personalities. It's Sakura's senior year of high school. Unlike other stories, she is already together with Syaoran and this story explores her thoughts on that. From Sakura's POV.

Disclaimer: I do not own Cardcaptor Sakura or any of its related characters. If I did, I of course would not be sitting here writing this lame fanfic.

**Chapter Two: Disconcerting Dream**

I miss my Syaoran. It's been a week since we've really talked. It may be partly my fault. Okay, maybe mostly my fault since every time he asked me what was wrong I shrugged him off. But then he stopped asking me. And then he stopped waiting for me. We just stopped talking and we couldn't even look each other in the eye anymore. When we did, we both gave each other indifferent looks. It hurt. And I know it was hurting him as well. We're both so stubborn!

Over the week, our conversations went like this:

"Hi," said Syaoran.

"Hi" I would reply.

"So what's up?"

"Nothing much."

"Al…right then."

"Alright then."

And then we would part and go our separate ways. Sometimes, I could still feel his eyes watching me when I was painstakingly avoiding his. It hurts me so much to look at his face whenever we're in a fight or not talking to each other. He is just so darn cute! How can I _not _be afraid that another girl will try to steal him away from me!

His soft brown hair was begs me to run my fingers through them. I'm still a little embarrassed to – I'm afraid I'll come on too strong, too lovesick. He likes to stay active. I can tell from his lean, muscled body. A little on the scrawny side, just the way I like it. Slightly tanned from all the outside activities he does. His eyes are deep brown. At times like these, they're distant and piercing, punishing me in return for giving him the cold shoulder. But other times, when he's holding me in his arms and I turn to gaze into them, they tell me that he loves me. They reveal his sensitivity. He tries to be all tough and manly and "cool" but I know that he's really a total lame weirdo…just like me.

And who could ever forget his smile? He doesn't smile too often, but when he does, everything about him seems to lift and his whole face glows. Especially when he's smiling at me and I can feel that the smile is meant for me…and only me. His smiles make me melt. And his lips. The lips that I've kissed. His breath has a distinct smell that is uniquely his own. It must be a combination of whatever mints he likes to eat and his all too frequent snacks. It always reminds me of that first kiss.

I still remember the first kiss.

* * *

"Oh my god, you shouldn't definitely go for it! Syaoran is so cute! You guys would make such a cute couple!" exclaimed Meiling, a girl that didn't particularly like me. I have no clue why exactly – she just doesn't.

I gaped as I found out who she was talking to.

"_Really? You think I have I have a chance? He really _is_ cute…" replied an unsure girl with silky black hair._

_Tomoyo-chan! I knew she had a thing for him! How could she not! He really _is _cute! My mind was racing. But how can she make a move if I'm still with him? Do they know something I don't know? My head wanted to burst. There were so many more unanswered questions where that came from._

"_Um, excuse me, Meiling? But you shouldn't give out that kind of advice to my best friend when I'm still going out with Syaoran myself! You did know that, didn't you?" I said as I wandered over to where Meiling and Tomoyo were sitting down and chatting._

"_Haha! Does it really matter? After all, everyone knows you guys are practically broken up anyway! He doesn't like you anymore! You guys barely even talk!"_

_I was speechless._

_I tried to form some words. "Well you know what, Meiling? I think you should riiiiiiiiiiiiiing. Riiiiiiiiing. Riiiiiiiing."_

RIIIIIIIIIING.

Still half-asleep, I open one eye, stick out my hand and efficiently turn off the alarm clock. The work of someone skilled at handling alarm clocks.5:45 AM. I still have time before school starts… I want to know more… what do Meiling and Tomoyo know that I don't about me and Syaoran? Are we really broken up? What's happening….?

"_Syaoran! Tell me the truth! Do you or do you not still want to be with me?" I spat out. _

"_Sakura. What makes you even question me?" Syaoran said. He gave me that look that said 'why are you being so ridiculous again?' _

_I hate it when he gives me that look. I am _not_ being ridiculous! Well…maybe just a bit. But it is justified! He may as well be thinking about ending our relationship right at the moment! Oh it hurts Syaoran! Don't do it!_

"_Well..I…but…I…I…stuff…me…well…you…" I mumbled. I wasn't making any sense anymore. Maybe I was being irrational. I shouldn't let other people get to me so much._

"_Spit it out, Sakura. Come on, you can tell me."_

_I looked up into his face and I immediately knew it was the right and wrong thing to do. It was right because I looked into his eyes and I could see that he really did care about me. It was wrong because I knew now that I was going to give in. His eyes always get to me._

"_Well...it's just that I just overheard Meiling talking to Tomoyo and she was all telling Tomoyo that she should…that she should…try going out with you and that you guys would make the perfect couple," I sputtered._

"_Now why would she say that? Doesn't she know we're together?" Syaoran replied calmly._

"_That's what I thought! But…she says that nobody even knows that we're together anymore…that we're practically broken up anyway."_

He didn't even say anything to that.

"Good morning! Good morning! Good morning! Good morning!"

My second alarm clock went off and started to greet me. 6:15 AM. I greeted it back by heartily slapping it to turn it off after I stomped across the room with my blanket still wrapped around me. I then proceeded to go back to bed.

Tomoyo and Syaoran. Syaoran and Tomoyo. The thoughts racing around in my mind. They seem so perfect for each other! What if I'm in the way of them being together? What if Syaoran is cheating behind my back? What if… what if?

I tossed and turned and somehow fell back asleep because the next thing I knew…

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP!

My cell phone alarm gradually became louder. I turn it off without even bothering to look at the time. I know it's on snooze so it'll go off in another five minutes. I hear yelling outside my bedroom door. My brother.

"GET UP! YOU NEED TO GET READY FOR SCHOOL! YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE!"

"NO I'M NOT! AND I _AM_ UP!" I shout back. But the truth is I'm still in bed and my head is resting on my pillow and I'm ready for another quick nap.

Sure enough, it goes off and I turn it off once again. My cellphone and I wage a battle and the cycle repeats itself until I look at the time and it's 6:45 AM.

Crap.

6:45 AM? Let's see, it takes 10 minutes to get to school which starts at 7:00 AM. So if I calculate this right and I still have to get up, wash my face, change into clothes, and grab some breakfast, and get all my supplies ready for school that means… crap. Crap, crap, crap.

"AHHHHHHH! I'M GOING TO BE LATE! WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TRY WAKING ME UP! TOUYA!" I was really just angry at the world and at myself but for some reason I always take it out on my brother.

"I DID TRY! YOU SAID YOU WERE ALREADY UP!" Touya yelled back from downstairs.

"YOU'RE IMPOSSIBLE!" We both shouted at each other, frustrated.

* * *

I was walking to my locker all lonely, contemplating about how badly everything seemed to be going in my life. I miss my Syaoran so much. Maybe I should stop being such a stubborn brat and just talk to him. After all, communication is the basis of all relationships. If I want to make this one work, I can't keep on ignoring him and testing him to see how far he'll chase after me. But everytime I look at him, I just freeze up and I all I see is how perfect he is and how perfect Tomoyo is and how imperfect I am and how all these doubts just start to swarm me and then I start to go crazy! Envy. Jealousy. Two powerful emotions that don't ever lead to good thoughts or action.

And that dream I had! Everything just felt so _real_. What if it was actually a premonition of what was to come? Each time I woke up, I just wanted to go back to sleep and find out more. It's a problem I have. But Syaoran's mine! I will fight for him! Unless… I shouldn't because I'm preventing him from being with his true love?

I kicked the nearest rock in frustration.

"Hey," said a voice that startled me. I gave a little jump and my heart started to race. I calmed myself down, trying to pretend that I had not jumped at the sound of his voice.

I turned around and I looked up into his smile. God, I love his smiles. I could see the uncertainty in his eyes and the slight twitch of his lips that told me he was nervous to be talking to me again.

I didn't care…Syaoran's talking to me again! Finally, for once, I did not have to give in and be the first to try and make things right! It's always me. Out of the 8 months that we've been together, I'm always the one that caves in first to make things work. But not this time! He's talking to me first! He still cares about me and he wants to work things out!

Oh god. Unless he's talking to me so he can chuck me. Please don't chuck me, Syaoran! I can do better. I can be a better girlfriend, I promise! But if you're _not_ here to chuck me and you're here to apologize then… good riddance, it took you long enough! You need to be a better boyfriend!

I realized he was still looking at me and waiting for a response.

My mouth broke into a warm smile. I couldn't help it.

"Hello." I said shyly. I can barely talk to my own boyfriend. I still get all jittery, fluttery, and nervous around him. How pathetic is that?

"So…haven't talked to you in awhile," he said. Yeah, that's because we were ignoring each other!

"I know…so how've you been?"

"Alright. How have you been?"

"I'm okay."

"Only okay? Not great?"

"No. Just okay."

"I see."

I hated how our conversation was so… polite. We're supposed to be lovers!

"So…done anything lately?" I started, keeping my voice light, trying to mask the hurt I felt.

"Nah, nothing much. You?"

"Same. You know, just staying at home and studying for those SATs. That's all my dad lets me do anymore really." It's the truth. I wasn't allowed out the whole summer to go out with my friends or anything! My eyebrows knitted thinking about it. All summer I stayed home doing practice tests. I know my father means well and he just wanted to me to excel, it being my senior year and last year to impress the college admission officers, but the past summer was just torture for me! I missed the carnival fair and going to the movies and the amusement park…

"That sucks." Understatement of the year. I wanted him to hug me. To touch me and let me know that I'm still loved. I wanted him to hold me and tell me everything was going to be alright.

And once again, awkward silence filled the air.

"Why didn't you come?" Syaoran asked.

"Come to what?"

"The party." There was a party! When! What!

"What party?"

"You know, the party for the seniors."

"There was a party for the seniors? Well, I guess I wasn't invited." I said bitterly.

"No, I'm sure you were. Maybe if your cell phone was on you would've gotten a call from Chiharu about it."

"Well, I'm sorry that my cell phone isn't always on, but why couldn't she have just left me a message about it in my voicemail?"

"Well, it was a lot of fun. You missed out." Typical Syaoran. Always evades my questions to his convenience. Why didn't you call me yourself, baka? You never leave messages saying you miss me. You're always out having a blast without me. Why do you insist of keeping me in your life?

My eyes started to well up with tears but I blinked them away.

"So, you really haven't done much huh? Just going to parties and hanging out with Tomoyo without me huh?" I spat out bitterly.

"I didn't say anything about Tomoyo."

"I know. She told me herself. About how you guys went on a road trip to the beach. Went to watch the latest horror movie. Went swimming. Biking around the park. You know what else I also had to find out from her. Your new cell phone number." _And where was I? Even if I wasn't able to go, couldn't you have the decency to invite me to come along?_

"Well, if I asked you, it's not like you could come anyway. Your dad's always making you stay home and study. And it took you long enough to find out my cell phone number. I've had it for a week and you just now noticed? You didn't try to call me before?" _I know my dad rarely lets me out to greet the sun but if you don't even invite me, how can I go in the first place! _

"I should've been the first to know about your new cell phone number! I should've been the first person you called! Apparently not. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to find out your own boyfriend's cell phone number from someone else!" _I'm never the first to know anymore. Tomoyo is. I thought I was special to you. I guess I thought wrong._

All Syaoran did was give out a frustrated sigh. Ha! He's frustrated? How about what I'm feeling!

My dad was here to pick me up from school so I grunted a bye and I left him.

On the way home, I thought about the conversation I just had with Syaoran. Not a very pleasant one at all. I'll call him tonight and we will talk. I'm so afraid of losing him. I want to fight so we can resolve everything. I'm fighting him because I want every part of him to be mine, no one else's. I only get frustrated at him because I love him.

**A/N: **Thanks for reading minna-san! Much love goes out to those who reviewed! It only takes a minute or so and I really appreciate the encouragement! I can't believe Syaoran said Tomoyo's name instead of Sakura's in the previous chapter either. And I'm the author! Haha. Boys are so...rawrgh! Perhaps things will get better in the next chapter after Sakura calls Syaoran, ne? Unless he chucks her.


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